by Krystal
“Look at me! Look at me!” are not often words that come out of my mouth. I’m horrible at self-promotion. Even though I may be proud of a project, often I am the one that promotes others rather than myself. For a person who is established in his/her career, this may be a good move: allow your lay people to get credit and feel invested in your church programs. But, for a person who is looking for a job and needing recommendations, is it career suicide?
I suppose that it’s especially difficult for ministers to self-promote. At least, I think so. We talk about virtues of service, humility, and putting others before self, and I think those are incredibly important. But, does that make the minister go unnoticed? Will people notice the work that you are doing if you don’t point it out to them?
I also think it’s incredibly difficult for women to self-promote. (I’m painting with broad strokes here.) But, I truly feel like women are seen as a jerk if they are assertive and self-promote. As I have sat in staff meetings with my husband, he is quick to discuss the activities that are coming up for the ministries he oversees. He is also quick to discuss the successes of the programs. I, on the other hand, tend to point out the other members of the congregation who have worked on projects because I want to show how I am getting others involved. Plus, if I talk about something I have done, I feel a little icky inside. Am I alone in this?
Ultimately, I want to be at a point where I don’t have to yell, “Look at me! Look at me!” but for now, maybe I need to do more self-promotion. But how do people do that without sounding cocky or self-absorbed? How can we be empowered women & men who are candidates for ministry without being prideful? Or can women get calls as Ministers of Word & Sacrament without self-promoting?
What do you think?
Posts
Thanks for your post Krystal. I have a hard time with this as well, in fact the question I tend to dread in an interview is "What spiritual gifts do you have that make you right for this position/ministry." I always think, "Is it even allowed to claim spiritual gifts for yourself? I don't want to step on the Spirit's toes by claiming to have too many!" To me it seems like spiritual gifts are meant to be recognized by others not self but the process demands claiming gifts we may not be sure we have and making sure all of our achievements are publicized. I think it is partially a result of there being such high competition for positions right now that we feel even more pressured to treat "seeking a call" like a regular job search. Job searches require self-promotion, seeking a call should really involve more looking and listening and prayer than self promotion but let's be honest, right now when it feels a lot more like a job search.
ReplyDeleteI really like your post Krystal because I struggle with this. I also struggle with how aggressive I need to be. For instance, when I am in conversation with a staff or church or something, how much do I demand and how do I go about demanding it? They get to ask us tough questions in the safety of numbers, but we have to ask tough questions that affect our families and our lives very deeply alone. (I know, I know, Holy Spirit is there, but it's still intimidating) How do we show enough aggression and self-promotion without becoming demanding or pushy?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I do believe that men have an easier time with this than women do.